Enis' Cafe

After reading a review on this blog
of the mysterious Enis' Cafe in Waterloo, I knew I had to go and see it for myself. I'd heard of customers being locked in there by Enis, of the police being called after a dispute over the bill, and the numerous signs plastered on the walls advertising a mysterious 'elixir' - a steal at £100 a bottle.

I arrived to find it empty - the temperature outside was pushing 30 degrees. Nonetheless, there were 3 staff stood idly in the kitchen. I'd already eaten and hadn't heard the greatest reports on the food anyway, so I ordered a Coke. Sadly around this point I got spotted fumbling under the table, trying to surreptitiously take photos and the waitress firmly requested I stop. So I didn't manage to snap the kitchen clad entirely in tin foil, numerous 'elixir' adverts, or the writing / colouring in on every available surface. A repeat visit is in order and I'll be more careful this time. Oh - and the Coke was warm.


Enis Cafe
79b Waterloo Road, London SE1 8UD









I nicked this from Bingo Betty's blog, as I was gutted not to have taken a photo of the hand-drawn 'Breakfast Club' wall:


EDIT: Vaughan Denny kindly shot the weird side hatch (with what appears to be shell detailing in the concrete) and sent a photo over. Follow him on Twitter: @vaughan



EDIT 2: My friend Paul went, I thought I'd post his writeup too:

"I went to Enis's cafe. it was a crazy experience, the walls are all lined with tin foil and it is easily the craziest place i've been to. I have to lay down, the coffee made me feel sick and the place smells like congealed grease, and the owner yells at you, it was the funniest and best cafe experience ever. We got in and the owner started to glare at us, like 'WHY ARE YOU IN MY CAFE' and we sat down and the first thing you notice is the smell of damp and grease. and all over the place there was signs for Enis' 'Elixir of life'.

I asked him for a tea and he goes "WE CHARGE ONE POUND FOR A TEA, ONE POUND FOR A TEA, JUST SO YOU KNOW WE CHARGE ONE POUND FOR A TEA". He charged two puonds for a coffee, and it came with the thickest sewage drainage pipe foam on it, literally, it was solid-thick. I had asked him about the Elixir of Life, and he goes 'DISCOUNT OFF OF IT IS GONE, DEAL IS OFF, DEAL IS OFF' and ripped the card out of my hand and started to fold it up and balanced it on the table. It was nutzzzzzz. I feel a bit sick now, I drank two little drinks of the coffee and it tasted like pissed-in rain water. I love the 'there is nothing more beautiful than real cappucino' sign - mine honestly tasted and looked like sewage treatment."